A Bit of Cyn

My little guy is now a year old. Amazing how much they (and you) change in that first year. This helpless little being a year ago is now a toddling, laughing, full member of the family. Life is such an amazing miracle.

I remember being worried that Sophia would hate us for bringing another child into our lives. I loved Sophia so much, I wasn’t sure how it would be with another child. How would we be able to handle two kids, when one required so much energy? I was pretty scared about the whole thing.

Now, a year later, I can’t imagine NOT having Drew in our life. He is such a sweet little guy. A good fit for our stubborn, high-needs daughter. He made the adjustment to two much easier on us. He makes us all laugh and smile. His sister loves him to death, though she thinks he should be a doll and do whatever she wants him to. Ah, such is life as a big sister/baby brother. I love this little guy like I could never have imagined. My life as a family feels complete. I feel whole.

So, happy birthday, Drew! We are so thrilled to have you as a part of our lives, our family.

Oh, and let’s not forget… Happy Big Sister Day, Phia! (I told her it was Big Sister Day to get her excited and happy this morning. She loved it! So, we’re playing it up a bit as well.) One year ago today, you became a big sister! What a special role you have in Drew’s life. We love you as well, Phia Lynn!

Excuse me while I get all sentimental on you. I just can’t stop myself.

On this day one year ago, I was miserable. I was about 5 days from my due date, so pregnant big time. I’d been having contractions since the day before. We even went to the hospital in the morning of this day thinking maybe this was it. But I wasn’t progressing so I was sent home.

I spent most of the day trying to do business as usually, stopping periodically to breathe through a contraction. I went on two long walks, one with Dale, while Ron was at karate, and one with Dale and Ron just TRYING to get things to move along. I was seriously beginning to think that baby was just NOT COMING. Or at least, was going to make my life hell before he came to meet us. (I can just see him in there, laughing about how miserable I was.) During the walks, I’d have to stop to breathe but I tried to just walk through them. Making dinner was much the same way. At this point, I just wanted this baby to get here already. (Oh, and I wanted him to do so before my birthday which is May 26th.)

Looking back, I miss it. I know, it’s all crazy talk. But there is something about the anticipation of meeting your child. The one that has been growing inside you, the one that you contributed half of your genes to, and in this case, whom my husband, the man I love with all my heart, contributed the other half. How cool is that?! The awe of what the body can and does do. The amazement upon seeing that little being. Who does he look like? What’s his personality going to be like? Honestly, I’d go back and do either of my labors again, both having their pros and cons. But I loved the process, as crazy as it sounds.

My baby boy wasn’t born this day; he was born at 1:39 am tomorrow. But I spent most of this day, one year ago, in labor, just waiting. My water breaking at 11:30 pm, and running out the door in the most pain I have ever felt. All the while calling my mom to meet us at the hospital, telling her I was sure it would be a while (and it wasn’t) until I delivered, and yelling directions to Dale about how to care for our little baby girl being left at home. (He did a great job with her, and we are so thankful he was willing to stay here with us, anticipating our new arrival.)

So that’s what I’ve been thinking about all of today. With his birthday tomorrow, and my birthday on Friday, I’m beginning to think that mom’s are the one’s who should be celebrating their kids birthday’s. I know I’ll be wishing my mom a happy “birth” day to her on my birthday.

So I started this post last week. I’ll finish it, update it, then move on to another topic…

I took Sophia to the pediatrist today. When she walks (and runs) her feet turn in. She’s done it for as long as I can remember, but most doctors suggest waiting until they are 3 since most will outgrow it. Well, she hasn’t. She trips a lot when she runs. I feel bad for her. She doesn’t know she doesn’t it, and at this age, no one her age has noticed it. But, I don’t want her to continue getting hurt when she trips over her own feet!

The doctor said her problem is tibia torsion. Her tibia is twisted and continuing to grow that way instead of straightening out. Theory is that this starts inutero when they are all scrunched up. When they’re born, the bones are very soft and should straighten out at they grow. In her case, they have not straightened out. She has a very mild case, and most people don’t even notice it. (We do, as we watch her closer than most, and we see her falling a lot!)

The solution: leg braces to be worn at night for about 6 months. As her bones grow, the braces will force them to grow straight. Then, she’ll be able to run better without falling as much. The doctor described the braces to me, and I figured it would be difficult to convince her to leave them on, but possible with bribery.

Fast forward to today. We had the fitting and the braces are more elaborate than I expected. They will prevent her from straightening her legs. They attach with velcro. Please, people. Do you really think my independent, strong willed, hate being in bed anyway daughter will keep these on? I don’t think so. Next step, call the doctor to find out what happens if she will NOT wear these! Is it something she’ll grow out of eventually, or do we need to be hard-core about making her wear them? I am so not looking forward to this. Talk about hell. Pure hell!

But, it is pretty interesting to see that Phia can turn her feet inwards and they will start pointing to the floor. When you try turning them out, they barely go out. It’s really quite strange to see. (This is possible because her tibia is twisted inward, and her hip ligaments are just slightly loose.)

Welcome to our adventure in what just might be the toughest part of parenting we’ll be entering into. And if you have suggestions on bribes for a 3 year old, that she’ll allow us to velcro her into a position that she won’t be able to move from, let me know! *sigh*

It’s late in the evening (though I believe my blog will say it is now May 15 — not sure how to change that). The kids are sound asleep (yay!) and so is Ron. It’s rare that I have time all to myself. This is a Happy Mother’s Day. I’ve spent part of the day reflecting and though I don’t feel like writing all about it, I will say that I am truly blessed. I have a loving, supportive, fun, and hot husband. I have two beautiful, healthy kids who I adore (most of the time) and who seem to adore me, most of the time. Even when I have the crappiest day, they can put a smile on my face.

So, Happy Mother’s Day to all those moms and mom’s to be…and grandma’s, too! Even if it is a little late…

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Shifting a bit. I want to record this just so I don’t forget (since I think it was funny and so cute.)

The other day we were at a birthday party. Ron brought Drew home for a nap. When Phia and I got home, the front door was locked. I told her that her daddy locked us out. She said why? I said I thought it was an accident. She looked at me, with a serious look on her face (and I was thinking she was worried about this whole being locked out thing), and said, “Dad, he’s a sneaky fox!” Then started smiling. So cute! (And for those of you who don’t watch TV, or don’t have kids, that’s from Dora. Swiper is the sneaky fox.)

since I updated my blog? My goodness! Where have I been? Oh yeah…parenting and working!

Drew is slowly adjusting to life at daycare. Apparently he spends most of the morning crying, then playing in the afternoon. When I drop him off, he gets down and plays and doesn’t cry until after I’m gone. So fortunately, I don’t have to listen to the crying as I leave him. They did say that he’s starting to do better, so that makes me feel better. Also, he’s eating quite well there and seems to nap decently. That makes me happy!

I’ve been working almost all week which has been a change for me. But it’s a good one. Feels good to be back in the swing of things, making money, contributing financially to our family’s well-being. My butt is a bit sore as I’m not used to sitting on it all the time.

Sophia has begun calling me Cynthia as opposed to Mommy. It’s actually kind of cute. She’ll be in her room and call out, “Cynthia! Cynthia!” When I picked her up at daycare today, she ran to me yelling, “Cynthia! Cynthia!” She only calls Ron, Dad, so I’m not sure why it’s only me. But I don’t really care/mind. I think it’s cute.

I have big plans for this weekend! On Sat. I’m getting a pedicure (from my sister who does it for a living), my eye brows waxed, and lessons on how to apply make-up. I’m actually really excited about this. (It’s my Mother’s Day gift.) I don’t wear make-up, never have. Partially because I have no idea how to apply it. Now I’ll know. I don’t plan on wearing make-up every day, but if I have to meet with a client, go on a “date”, or have a special occassion, it would be nice. Then next week I’m getting my hair cut and highlighted. I’m not sure how I’m going to get my hair cut. I think I’m just going to ask the guy (same one who always cuts my hair) to do something “different” with it. I need a change.

Okay, well I’m heading to bed now. I haven’t had much sleep lately. Hopefully that’ll all change soon…

For some, this may be more info than you’d care to know. But wow…I’ve only had my period 2 times in the past almost 4 year! I was pregnant in Sept. ‘02. Sophia was born May ‘03. I didn’t get my period again until July ‘04. I was pregnant again in Sept. ‘04. Drew was born May ‘05, and still no sign of it (which is just fine by me). I’m not sure I’ll know what to do when it actually is here every month for more than 2 months.

Drew started daycare today. And I’m conflicted on how I feel. In one way, I feel liberated, if even for a few hours. I am working, but even then, I feel some what free without either of the kids. (And since I work from home, I can take breaks here and there to do stuff around the house or run a quick errand.) I get to sort of be like an adult! It’s been almost a year since I’ve had this type of freedom.

Yet, I’m very sad. I miss my little guy. When I left him he gave me his cute scrunched up face, showing me his two front bottom teeth, smiling and “talking” to me. No tears… He was so cute I just wanted to run back in, pick him up, and take him home. But I fought the urge. I know that once he realizes I’m not coming back for a while he’ll lose it. I know it’ll be a hard day for him. I’m hoping he’ll find the other kids fun and that’ll help. I know that in the big picture, this is very good for him. It’s the short-term that’s going to be hard for both of us. I miss him already and am looking forward to picking him up this afternoon. But it breaks my heart to think of him crying for me, and me not being there for him. *sigh…*

Well, off to do some real work now. I’ve got a ton of it to do so I better get started! Back to life in the “real” world.